Having Extended Families Despite Low Birth Rates

Owing to concerns about overpopulation and careerism among women, fertility and the average number of children per household is declining. Children without siblings or a large extended family will not have the rich web of lifelong familial relationships that many regard as essential to the social fabric. Parent(s) in a small household often have dual careers and inadequate time for child care, cooking, chores and errands.  Fearing that they would not have sufficient time to enjoy their children or themselves, many professionals remain childless.

One solution to these several dilemmas is to reverse the trend of breaking large homes into apartments, and to populate the new or reconstituted mansions with self-selecting adults wishing to live together with children.  Some of these adults would be the reluctant professionals who would like to have a regular relationship to kids but not yet a legal commitment for their care.  The basis for sharing dwellings will be mutual consent rather more than blood ties and marriage, a trend already established by single and older parents who also have a tendency to adopt.

Since there is risk in ascertaining compatibility with a group, most people will be wary of buying fractional ownership in a large house. Most lenders will also be reluctant to finance such purchases owing to an unproven market for resale. The co-housing movement has solved these problems by bringing buyers together before construction.  But co-housing units have separate entrances and are often resold in relatively arms-length transactions by realtors.  While there is usually a cooperative board that must approve new owners, approvals occur without having lived together for any period of time.  There is no experience on which to base a marriage-like covenant. 

Since the potential for conflict grows with the size of the family, successful homes will be based on a strong set of shared values. This typically requires first living together to discover whether the adults can commit to living and raising children together.  The most workable approach towards creating this kind of large family then is to allow prospective members to try out the arrangement by renting first. Some existing large homes may be rented at affordable rates; some of these are the empty nests of one or two grandparents who would like to continue living in their own homes.  New construction needs to be financed despite the problems with traditional lenders.  It may be expected to take five years to build and then consolidate a group of purchasers.  The risk and the long period suggests that financing will only be obtained from people who have a personal stake in building homes for themselves as well.

Members of this new kind of tribe may of course retain properties that they already own and use the large properties as weekend or vacation homes. The country home might be occupied during the week by parent(s) with young children who would like some relief from childcare and freedom to be child free during some weekends in the city. The opportunities for such swaps expand with the inclusion of city, country and resort homes.